Rules & Recommendations
- Getting the most our of your 7 minute date
These few rules and recommendations turn a potentially awkward, superficial meeting into an opportunity to begin of a real conversation with someone.
Rule #1: Talk about something other than where your date lives or what he/she does for a living.
Since these questions are what most people talk about when first meeting, we're giving you permission to talk about something else. Take the opportunity to see a glimpse of who your 7-minute date really is - not just what he/she does for a living. Have a fresh conversation. How about your favorite book or movie? Where you last went on vacation or how your life would change if you won the lottery.
Rule #2: Asking for your date's phone number, address or last name or asking if they are interested in seeing you again is a big "no-no."
We're trying to remove as much of the pressure as possible on these 7-minute first dates. No one is allowed to ask, let alone pressure you, for a phone number or last name. And there's no pressure to let your date know if you want to see him/her again - that's what the cards are for.
Rule #3: No skipping dates.
It is simply rude to "blow-off" a date - especially given it's only 7-minutes of your life. Sometimes participants who've attend a few events find they may be dating the same person. If this is awkward for you, speak with the event hosts before the event begins and we will try and arrange the rotation so that you do not have a date with that person.
Rule #4: Women stay seated and men rotate tables in multiples of 2 or 3 - and table numbers are not chronologically arranged in the room.
Don't you hate it when you're having a conversation with someone and you notice they are looking over your shoulder at someone else?! This rule deters daters from checking out their "next date" in the middle of an existing date. So, if you're dating #2 now, your next date might be #4 or #5 - and you might not be able to see her from where you are currently seated.
Rule #5: If you check "yes" you're committing to a phone call.
When you receive a mutual match the decent thing to do is to contact that person - even if you've changed your mind or you want to date someone else first. In those cases, simply let your other matches know that you are busy dating someone else right now - but if you become free you will contact them. That's it - simple and courteous.
Recommendation #1: If you enjoyed the conversation with your date - check that you'd like to see him/her again.
Often participants believe sparks must fly within the first 7-minutes or there's no potential. This isn't true. Chemistry is an unreliable measure of "relationship potential" in the first 7-minutes. It often takes a few dates for chemistry to develop. (Many happily married couples had that experience.) So ask yourself, "Did I enjoy talking with this person?" And if the answer is yes, and you're not completely turned-off by their appearance - date them again!
Recommendation #2: If you see or talk with someone you'd like to meet again, but you won't have a 7-minute date with them, write down their name and number on your match card.
Many participants are now married because they took the initiative to talk with someone before the event, at an intermission or before going home. You don't have to give your contact information, simply write down his or her name and number on your card - and if the other person does the same that's a mutual match!
Recommendation #3: When you receive mutual matches - we recommend that you date one person at a time.
Decide who you want to see first, and then make a courtesy call to let your other matches know you are busy dating someone else. If you become available, feel free to contact them again at that later time.
Recommendation #4: Only 7 dates
Often participants ask that we let everybody date everybody - 10, 15, 20 dates in one night!! We find that it's simply too much - it's exhausting and virtually impossible to remember who you dated. Plus, for those that don't get a date, it's discouraging to think that they didn't get a match with anyone in the room. If you want to date more, come back to another event.
Recommendation #5: Be upfront about issues of divorce and conversion.
There are a few sensitive issues that confront the Jewish community. Two of these are divorce and conversion. People hold different beliefs regarding what constitutes a full conversion (ger) and divorce (gett). If you are confronting these issues, feel free to visit the our website (www.speeddating.com) for more information. Also, be upfront with your dates regarding your situation. Many people feel uncomfortable bringing up such personal issues in the first seven minutes, but certainly address them if a second date (after the 7-minute introduction) is in consideration.